Mobility problems & AG Place NY

[Skittl1321]

I never caught in any of your posts that you were using a cane. Now I am just appalled at this employees behavior. You CLEARLY had a need for an elevator. And even if you *could* use the escalator, you were obviously willing to wait for the elavator.

I would right a letter, but if you can manage it (maybe write a script ahead of time to help yourself) I would also call and ask to speak to a manager about the incident. They should go out of their way to make this up to you.

[MaryCarly]

People shouldn't make assumptions even if they don't see a cane. I not only have trouble with my legs, but also with my arms and my hands so on my worst days, I can't use a cane. Not only is it impossible to hang on to it, but sometimes just that much weight on ones side is enough to throw me off balance and make me fall. If I park in a handicap spot, or if I am walking slowly, or if I am standing in line for an elevator, or a handicap restroom, that should tell people that I am having problems. It is humilitating enough to be like this; I really don't need people's rudeness or insensitivity to make things worse.

[Skittl1321]

Originally posted by MaryCarly:
People shouldn't make assumptions even if they don't see a cane.

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I completely agree with your entire post- but sometimes people- especially young people who haven't necessarily been exposed to non-obvious disabilities need an external recognition. I don't think it is excusable to treat someone poorly under any situation, but I think it is more understandable that someone might say something like "I'm sorry the use of this elevator is restricted" if there is no external sign you might need it. At which point you could explain you did have need of it. It should have never reached the point where she wasn't allowed to use it- and should never be at the point of pointing and laughing etc, but without some external indicator (like the example of my friend who is deaf not seeming to need a handicapped space) it is more understandable that someone would question you- if it is done politely.

Or at least that's how I see it. As an earnest question- Would you consider it rude if I (as say a cafe hostess) approached you, politely, about using the handicap restroom? If we never approach anyone then it seems that people who actually are just taking advantage of it are never caught.

[MaryCarly]

I certainly wouldn't mind being asked, but that has never happened. Usually I just get dirty looks, rude comments, or pushed out of the way. Not every person is like this, but I meet at least one practically every time I go out. Some people seem to have a need to feel superior or self righteous. These also are not usually people that have any authority over the place. They are just people who seem to think they have a right to run things wherever they are. I think it is sad that their first reaction is to assume that someone is trying to get away with something. I can't imagine using a handicap spot or restroom if I didn't need to. It is a humiliating enough knowing you need it.

[wiccacat]

I agree with you MaryCarly.Sometimes i don't use the cane because it makes my wrists hurt. In our local mall the elevator is always broken. I know there is a freight elevator in the back and i used to just go back there and use it. Now because of the threat of terrorists i don't want to just wander back there on my own so i hunt down a security guard. I tell them they can search my bags if the want (no bombs) but i need an elevator. I've never been denied or asked what my problem is. Maybe they just don't care. But i really prefer their laid back attitude to being questioned about why i can't use the escalators like normal folks.

[marymax]

I feel really bad for you guys with dissabilities I didnt realize it was so bad out there....my dad is handicapped and I carry a wheelchair at all times...I have two friends that have arthritis so bad they can hardly walk....Since I am not handicapped I decided to give up my handicapped tag...it seldom is a problem for me...I can unload my passenger at the door and park my car and I am back a with them in a few minutes...I see many abusers and although I could have one I decided Naaa....there may come I time I have to have it but not now...we can manage the chair...and the friends....most of the time....

[FelinaDoon]

Did you get the name of the person who told you to mail order - That would have driven me over the edge -

You might e-mail one of the personal shoppers and ask their opinion of what to do - They are Really above and beyond nice and helpful and maybe they can pull a few of each and have you come in one day and show everything to you - Like a little dolly Fashion Show. They would also know who to write a letter of complaint to

[wiccacat]

For me it's sort of a double whammy because i'm disabled and fat. In fact, since my accident i've gotten much fatter because exercise is so painful. So i'm sure many times people see me waiting for an elevator and just think i'm lazy and climbing stairs would do me good. I try very hard not to judge other people. There are so many problems that are not visible. Someone mentioned being legally blind and having to ask for help reading stuff. I do too sometimes and many people seem to think i just can't read. For example, the new AG boxes are impossible for me to see. The old blue boxes had nice big white print so i was able to read them. I wasn't sure once if i had the right box and asked a little girl to read it. She looked a little shocked but she handled it better then most adults and just told me what was inside. As i walked away i heard her say to her mom, "that lady
must be really stupid, she can't read". Her mom was great and said "no honey, i think she just has trouble with her eyes". The next lesson for that kid is that people who really can't read might not be stupid. There's all kinds of reasons for that too-- learning disabilities, never taught, from a poor country without schools ect.

[MaryCarly]

I just want to send a rose to wiccacat for having the courage to speak up about this very difficult topic. [img]graemlins/rose.gif[/img]

I also want to send roses to each one of you that contributed to this thread. It can be painful to discuss this stuff, but you all posted with support, kindness and grace. [img]smile.gif[/img]
[img]graemlins/rose.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/rose.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/rose.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/rose.gif[/img]

[LindaL]

I probably need to explain that one of the reasons this absolutely infuriates me and why I suggested legal action is that my Dad has been wheelchair bound for way over 10 years now, and I know first-hand how difficult even a small trip out can become when you are dealing with curbs not cut out, steps instead of ramps, finding the elevators (and hoping they work), and finding disabled parking. I have had folks scream at me when we have pulled in a disabled spot in the past because I hopped out of the car obviously not looking disabled, to get my dad's wheelchair out of the trunk. Here in TX the disabled placard is NOT to be hung on the rear view mirror when driving, so we have to pull it out of the glove box. And the people then automatically assume you aren't "handicapped" if that placard isn't up the second you pull in a spot. And it is unsafe to drive with it hanging--it blocks your vision!

I think the best "punishment" for that AG employee would be to make them "live" as a handicapped person for a few days (possibly in a wheelchair), and then maybe they'd have a whole different outlook.

Linda